I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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