did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
