dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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