he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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