I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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