im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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