Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
