she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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