I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
