What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
