Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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