why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Terrible idea I love it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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