Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
