she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
