I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
