Girls should come with a carfax report
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
