we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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