Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want her autograph on my taint
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
