no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize