Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
