You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
