i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
