omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize