Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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