I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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