I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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