Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
