dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
