So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
