I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
