And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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