A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
