I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
