By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
