bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
