at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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