Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
