I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize