bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
