I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
