No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
