I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize