I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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