I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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