I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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