How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
