Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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