I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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