Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
