she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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