Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
