the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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