Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
