So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
