I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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