butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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