The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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