I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
