He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
