Me too!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
