And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
