Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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