The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
