somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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