either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
