I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
